Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy & Counselling IN LONDON BRIDGE, Southwark & Forest Hill, DULWICH


"I like to dance in the pressure storm" Jannick Sinner, Tennis no1, interviewed by McCrae, Observer 25th May 2024

"The natural thing is playing …  

It is play that is the universal, and that belongs to health: playing facilitates growth and therefore health; playing leads into group relationships; playing can be a form of communication in psychotherapy; and, lastly, psychoanalysis has been developed as a highly specialized form of playing in the service of communication with oneself and others." 

- Donald Winnicott 

"The patient who will not suffer pain fails to ‘suffer’ pleasure" 

- Wilfred Bion 

"The human psyche, like human bones, is strongly inclined towards self-healing. The psychotherapist's job, like that of the orthopaedic surgeon's, is to provide the conditions in which self-healing can best take place." 

- John Bowlby 

From, 'A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy 

Human Development', 1988, p.152 


I am an experienced psychoanalytical psychotherapist and couples counsellor and executive coach based in Dulwich and London Bridge. I work with clients across the world.

“That dates from something I used to do at school. I was at boarding school, and I would climb out of the window after lights out and we'd all gone to bed. We were in the middle of the Berkshire countryside. And I would go for long walks in the middle of the night. You know, kind of thing adolescents do. And I discovered what it was like to stand still in the middle of a field, right out in the country, and just listen. And stay there, and stay there, and after 10 minutes, you hear far more than you thought. 20 minutes, you're hearing a whole sort of symphony orchestra of nocturnal sounds. And then after half an hour, it's a bloody racket. And there's nothing that wasn't there at the beginning. But by just cultivating a kind of internal stillness, you become able to hear a whole lot more than you were. And I thought, thinking back to this, this is just like what psychoanalytic listening is like.” 

- Michael Parsons 

I am often approached by couples who are in some form of difficulty, and who are seeking a new perspective on their relationship. I am approached by individuals and couples in creative, business and technology fields. However, I work with individuals and couples from all walks of life and with a wide range of difficulties.

" ... The doctor is as much ‘in the analysis’ as the patient. He is equally a part of the psychic process of treatment and therefore equally exposed to the transforming influences. Indeed, to the extent that the doctor shows himself impervious to this influence, he forfeits influence over the patient; and if he is influenced only unconsciously, there is a gap in his field of consciousness which makes it impossible for him to see the patient in true perspective." 

- Carl Gustav Jung 

(1929, Collected Works 16, para. 166) 


I read PPE at Christ Church College, Oxford University (1991) and hold an MA and PhD from Essex University (1999). My training as a sociologist adds another dimension to my work as psychotherapist, allowing me to think about context and group life. I have recently featured in the Observer, Sunday Times and Huffington Post and often write for the psychotherapy website I draw on psychotherapy as well as many other disciplines in my work and writing. I am part of the Number 42 psychotherapy practice in London Bridge.

My doctoral research with Professor Paul Thompson explored transgenerational family dynamics and how they influence individual life paths. We can understand ourselves as individuals, but sometimes it is helpful to pan out and get the bigger picture and look at family scripts, myths and dynamics.

I am a psychotherapist with the Mindfield and work with international humanitarian workers and journalists around the world.

I am a keen runner, cyclist and tennis player and I draw on these bodily and sporting disciplines to think about a range of issues, including individual and team performance. I explore psychotherapeutic themes in articles that can be found at the bottom of this page.

I have always returned to the question of how does the individual, family, team and system change? What gets us stuck, what helps us develop?


I am curious. I will listen as well as ask questions and get a feel of things. As a psychoanalytical psychotherapist I will work with unconscious and conscious patterns. I will work with you to map out transgenerational patterns and dynamics and explore ways to rewrite or edit family scripts. I will work with you to develop a hypothesis to understand the matters that you bring to the consulting room. Together we will co-create interpretations and ideas that are useful and helpful in living more fully and creatively. We will test out different things, in order to see what helps in real life. Psychotherapy and counselling are not text book exercises. It is your therapy and ultimately it has to be of help to you.


I work with whatever my clients bring


My consulting offices are based near Dulwich on Wood Vale SE23 3.DS in a peaceful outdoor office surrounded by trees, and in the Number 42 psychotherapy practice on Borough High Street SE1 1XW


I see couples for more intensive psychotherapy and counselling work on Saturday or Sat and Sunday. Fees for this tailored work can be had on application. I work with parents and adult children, as well as business partners who are seeking therapeutic support.


I generally see psychotherapy and couples counselling clients once or twice weekly at the same time. I do try and accommodate occasional rescheduling however I do charge for missed or cancelled psychotherapy sessions. Sometimes we may decide to work more intensively together.


I am a fully insured and qualified adult psychoanalytical psychotherapist registered with the UKCP. I am an active member of Number 42 Psychotherapy Practice


You are welcome to use unrestricted parking at my SE23 office and you can bring bicycles into my offices in both London Bridge and near Dulwich if you wish


I have a (small) therapy dog and we can discuss whether you would like him to be present or not!

Welcome, and thank you for visiting my website.

My name is Ajay Khandelwal and I am a psychoanalytical psychotherapist and counsellor based in London Bridge and Dulwich in South London

Recent Articles

The Nine Percent Who Keep A List of Jobs on A Piece of Paper in their Desk
Nowadays, in a world of global capitalism, the 1 percent are becoming more wealthy.  Their investments seem to only go up and the taxes they pay appear only to go down.  Kenneth Eisold, a psychoanalyst who works with businesses, and both the 1 percent, and those who run their businesses writes as follows: The top […]
The Psychological Difficulties of The New Cosmopolitans and Homo Globalis
I have clients who could be referred to as Homo Globalis, or the New Cosmopolitans (Stenger). Thank zoom! The global psychotherapy client can now dial in from Silicon Valley, or Zurich or Singapore. They are part of an English speaking professional elite, well educated, and widely travelled, yet beset with psychological difficulties.  They feel that […]
Do I Dress Like Larry David In Curb Your Enthusiasm?
I am a recent convert to the iconic TV show Curb Your Enthusiasm. I have loved every episode of series 12. I am feeling sad at the idea that this is the last series, especially as I am such a latecomer to this work of comic genius. There are lots of therapy references and story […]
Should I Peel Your Orange? What This Tik Tok Test Says About Your Relationship
The current Tik Tok craze about peeling oranges touches on the theme of how dependent you should be in your relationship. Should you be able to peel your own orange - gritty, resilient, strong, self-motivated - a true sharp citrus warrior! Or should you lie back and be peeled for, allowing the love of the […]
Mathew Perry and the Tsunami of Addiction
Mathew Perry's tragic death at age 54, which is still under investigation, will have struck a chord with fans of his show, and also all those who have had encounters with addiction. He was found dead in his hot tub and whether or not he died from natural causes, his body was terribly affected by […]
Altitude Sickness: What the Alps Taught me About Getting High
I recently fulfilled an ambition to go skiing in the Italian Alps. In my enthusiasm I snuck off from my group in the first 10 minutes as I didn’t want to be stuck on the baby slopes doing what looked like really boring exercises. As a seasoned runner and cyclist I reckoned that skiing couldn’t […]

Contact Me

Please contact me if you have any questions about how I work or to arrange an appointment. You can also call me on 07925 709596

All contact is strictly confidential.